


poem weaver: before/after

by tia37



Series: poem weaver [4]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2019-03-03 12:16:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13341075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tia37/pseuds/tia37
Summary: A series of oneshots set in the universe of 'poem weaver'. Non-chronological and will never be completed.





	poem weaver: before/after

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shuichi relapses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter tags: alcohol abuse, angst, excessive cleaning, author note whining

Shiori and Kokichi would be gone for three days. Her class was going on a trip to visit some historical locations and, as homeroom teacher, Kokichi had to supervise them. Though it was not compulsory, Shuchi let her go because she had pleaded with him and he could not say no to her. Besides, Kokichi would be there. He trusted his boyfriend to take care of his daughter. 

He did not expect the loneliness. He woke up the day after sending Shiori off, clamoring in panic because he had forgotten to set his alarm, and realized that he had no Shiori to take to aikido that day.

Shuichi busied himself at first. He made breakfast, did the laundry, cleaned the house, bought groceries and tried out a new recipe for lunch. He did not peg himself for a bad cook, but the food tasted bland on his tongue even though he had followed the recipe perfectly. He forced down his food and saved the rest in the fridge for dinner.

Usually, he would help Shiori with her homework. He would teach her until it was time for dinner, then they would have their baths and he would let Shiori on his computer for a while. Shiori liked point and click mystery games, so he made sure to find a new one for her every week.

But now there was nothing to do. The house was clean, he had no shopping to do, and for once he did not have any pending cases to work on. He had too much time on his hands and nothing to fill it with. He had never known a house without Shiori before today because his life had revolved around his daughter for the past six years, and he had never gone a day without seeing her. But now she was gone, hours away in Osaka with Kokichi and the rest of her class, and he would not see her until two days later.

He cleaned the house thoroughly again, on his knees to make sure that he reached every single nook and cranny of the house. He scrubbed and scrubbed until his hands became raw and bleach went into his eyes and made them burn, but he did not stop. It was only until he went over the house for the third time before he dared to look at the clock. It was 8 pm. He still had two more hours to go before he could sleep.

Even though he knew that he would not be able to sleep until after a certain time, he tried. Shuichi packed up the cleaning tools and tried to force a few bites of food down his throat, then went to take a bath. By the time he came out of the bathroom, it was 9 pm. An hour of lying in bed waiting to fall asleep. Fair enough. He took out his laptop and made sure it was connected to the power outlet, then lay on his side to watch videos of Kaede.

Shuichi knew that a symptom of alcohol withdrawal was insomnia. If he did not have Kokichi beside him to lull him to sleep, he would watch old videos of Kaede playing the piano to fall asleep to. But tonight, the videos just triggered _something_ inside him. He looked at Kaede and suddenly all the pain from the memory of her death flooded him at once. He remembered her screams, her fingers clawing desperately at the operating table as she tried to cling on to life, her bloodshot eyes from when she finally passed away. 

Suddenly, he was overwhelmed with the urge to forget.

His body was moving before he realized. His limbs moved automatically, pushing aside the computer to get off the bed. He did not even bother to get changed into more formal clothes, opting instead to put on his coat and shoes and walk out with only his wallet. His feet brought him to the convenience store near his house, and his hands moved to grab a pack of beer from the shelves.

"I haven't seen you in a while, Saihara-san," the clerk said. 

Shuichi laughed, but it sounded a little too forced to his ears. He hoped she did not notice. "Once in a while can't hurt, right?" He slipped her a note and told her to keep the change, then headed back home.

Once he kicked off his shoes and locked the door, he took the pack of beer and headed to his room. Once in a while would not hurt, he told himself. It was just for tonight, just to forget, just for a little while.

He cracked open a can and took a swig.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a vent chapter lmao. So is the author's note. Feel free to ignore.
> 
> Weaning off alcohol is shit. I'm genuinely so tired. I've only eaten half a marmalade sandwich and it's 9pm. There's leftovers sitting in front of me but I have no energy to put it in my mouth and chew. I need to drink but I only have milk. Fuck my life. Frankly, if I wasn't an only daughter and my parents weren't counting on me to take care of them in their old age I would've fucking thrown myself off the side of the building by now. Not like I haven't already tried.


End file.
